I would like to know that he isn’t sleeping with anyone else and won’t be sleeping with anyone else while we are sleeping together.Should I have the “defining the relationship” conversation with him or should I wait and allow things to evolve more?Now, this guy is such a front-runner that she drops every other prospect like a hot potato.
Our chemistry was immediate (physical, intellectual, and emotional) and things have been very easy so far. I am totally comfortable with the speed (how often we are communicating, seeing each other, and sharing information about ourselves).But, we recently slept together (it felt right and was great).But, we are technically not exclusive (meaning, we talked prior to sleeping together and said that we were both able to date others, if we wanted).However, we talked more recently and we both said that we aren’t dating anyone else, but we didn’t explicitly say that we are exclusive.It’s the kind of thing that will be defined naturally by him calling you every day, spending every weekend with you, introducing you to his friends and family, and so on.
In other words, you should both “know” what you are without a heavy discussion.
Just wait to see if he’s acting like a boyfriend FIRST; don’t treat him like one until he’s earned it. Practice sexclusivity (particularly if you can’t handle no-strings-attached sex) I’ve written about this extensively, so I won’t rehash the entire argument.
But, in short, if you are the type of woman who does not like the feeling of sleeping with a man when you have no idea whether he’s your boyfriend, STOP sleeping with men who are not your boyfriend.
It’s not the only way to do it, but I’m confident that it’s the most effective one.
I agree with Evan’s advice about waiting for sex if NSA sex does not suit you.
This is not to say that it’s “wrong” to commit to someone before 4 weeks; merely that you’ll have a better sense of who you’re committing if you vet him first, instead of giving him a free pass to boyfriend-hood because you like him and want to sleep with him.